Notes from meeting I’m sitting in

Aaaaagh, kill me now, clawing eyes out, interesting pattern on that carpet, DON’T MAKE JOKES, restrain yourself man, do NOT make jokes, they hate your jokes, the tone of this confab is what you’d expect if a dying infant were prone on the table before us, maybe if I jab thumb in my eye it will reset my attitude, look at Matt, everybody, he is taking lots of notes! I want to drink a cup of hot death, anyone got some? the peace of God passeth all understanding but why has the Cosmic Plan put me here in this meeting? what’s that sound? it’s years of your life drip dripping away, my friend as you listen to some cretin drone on about sales figures and you study the carpet pattern. Oh, my turn to talk? “Um, I think it’s best to take an active approach — of course, whatever we do should be well-planned.” Was that OK? Am I an idiot? I have a question but it’s best not to ask, because I haven’t been paying attention for the last 45 minutes. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps. O! they have lived long on the almsbasket of words. I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus. What, did someone just ask me something? Can you say that again? Oh, I think an active approach is best. Oh, you weren’t talking about that? Er um ugh oof ugh.

Author: mattamati

Nothing remarkable to report. Born in suburbs. Diffidently educated. Used to do other jobs, now he does this one. Fancies self a writer.

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